It is theme Friday over at HeartSongs.   This week's theme is Dating. 

My dates have almost always consisted of some kind of dinner and a movie.  There have been just a few times when something different happened.

The worst date I have ever had was a blind date set up by a co-worker.  This co-worker (we'll call her Jay) felt sorry for me for some reason.  She thought it was horrible that I was a single mom and just worked and then went home to my kids.  I was happy with that at the moment though.  I didn't want anything else. 

Jay thought I was lying though and set me up with a guy her husband worked with.  Jay's husband works for the Coors delivery company in this area. 

I gave in after much badgering and said fine, if nothing else it will get me out of the house one night.  My mom didn't mind babysitting and told me to have fun.

It was decided between Jay and another friend, M, that it would be a group date.  Jay brought her husband, M brought her sex partner (how dare anyone call him boyfriend, she used him just for sex), and myself with this guy.  I found out that night why this guy liked to work for Coors.  They got free beer just about every night.  whoopee....

It was decided that we would eat at Red Lobster so we could get to know each other a little and then after dinner we would see where the night led us.

This guy was 3 years younger than me.  No big deal I thought. 

When I pulled into the parking lot Jay and M were outside waiting for me.  Seems that everyone else had planned to show up about 15 minutes earlier than me, to this day I still don't know why.  The men were sitting at the table and all three stood as we approached the table.  Jay's husband had removed his ball cap, I thought the thing was permanently attached to his head, and guy had removed his cowboy hat and had it sitting in the middle of the table. 

The conversation actually went smoothly with very few uncomfortable lulls.  We ordered and guy removed his hat from the middle of the table and placed it on his lap. 

So far so good.

All of us but guy had ordered salads and some kind of shrimp platter.  Guy ordered the lobster plate and a beer.  I didn't think anything of it at the time.  Conversation kept up through their yummy cheddar biscuits and salad and guys next beer.  When the main course came everyone dug right in.  Well, except for guy.  He just kind of sat there watching all of us and poking the huge, dead lobster that was sitting on his plate and taking swigs from his next beer.  He'd poke it with his fork and then his knife and then eat some potatoes and drink some more beer. 

We were about half way through dinner when I looked up because guy had stood up.  Before I could say anything he pulled his POCKET KNIFE out of his back pocket and sat back down.  He proceeded to tear that poor lobster apart with his POCKET KNIFE.  He had it ripped to shreds within minutes.  Enough so that I'm not sure how much of the meat he actually got to eat.  

I couldn't help it when the giggles started.  They just kept bubbling out of my mouth like hiccups.  Before I knew it all three women were laughing so hard we were crying.  We excused ourselves to go to the bathroom to compose ourselves.  We had quite a few others staring at us as we RAN for the bathroom. 

When we got back to the table guy apologized and said he had never had lobster and wasn't sure how to eat it.  He had really wanted to try it though so he thought since he was there, he'd just do it.

Jay's husband picked up the utensils the waitress brought to use to eat the lobster and gave a nice demonstration on how to eat lobster properly.  This brought on a fresh wave of giggles from us girls. 

We all decided to skip desert but stuck around for guy to finish a couple more beers.  I think the other diners were ready for us to leave.  Jay and her husband went home; they were trying to get pregnant.  M and her sex partner took off leaving me with guy, just standing there in the Red Lobster parking lot. 

He asked if I wanted to go to his favorite bar, a place called the Top Deck.  Even though I'm not really into country music I said yes.   I was curious to see what other weird things he would do that night.  He said we could go in his truck and he would bring me back to the restaurant when we were ready to call it a night.  I said thank you but no I would drive my own car.

To my dismay all he did was get drunk.  We had all had a couple drinks at Red Lobster and when we got to the Top Deck I asked for water.  He asked for another beer.  He had at least 7 beers while I was there.  I was only there for about 45 minutes. 

He said hi to a few friends of his but other than that he paid total attention to me.  If I needed more water he ran up to the bar to get it for me.  The one time I had to go to the bathroom he "escorted" me.  I told him it was ok I could find the bathroom by myself and he said "Oh, I know, but it's only polite for me to walk with you so know one else tries to take you home."  WTF  I had never heard that before. 

It wasn't long after the bathroom trip that I told him I needed to leave and get home to my kids.  That's when he asked WHAT KIDS, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD KIDS!  He totally freaked out about it even though we had talked about my kids, M's kids, and Jay's trying to have kids all through dinner.  He had laughed at some the stories I had told about Ethan.  I reminded him of that and he calmed down. 

He walked me to my car and asked if I minded if he went back in for a while.  I said um yea sure why not.  He said well, if we are going to be together I don't want to start off on the wrong foot and anger you about the bar. 

All I could say was AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, ok BYE.  He backed up just in time for me to drive away as fast as I could.  I hadn't given him my phone number or address so I figured I would be ok and he'd hopefully forget about.

He remembered me though and called me the next evening asking when we were going to see each other again.  It seems that Jay was nice enough to give him my phone number.   I had to be blunt and just let him know that it wouldn't work between us.  I told him the main reason was his drinking.   He didn't understand my reasoning and apparently chose to disregard it because he changed the subject and started talking about his dog.  I don't remember now what kind of dog it was but apparently the dog liked to tip back a few bottles of beer with his loving owner every night.  I said ok goodbye, please never call me again and hung up!    If I remember correctly he had at least 15 beers in the few hours we spent together.

I never heard from him again!!!!